Monday, January 16, 2012

Dear Recently Distressed...

So, I've been meaning to type out a post for days now, and I just haven't had it in me.

Some recent developments:

Lately, much to my chagrin, Lola's been more interested in solid foods. Of course, this was bound to happen eventually, I mean, she IS 10 months old! I guess I was just hoping she'd continue to nurse every 2 hours until she decided to wean. I've had some anxiety about her spacing out her breast-feedings. I've been afraid my supply would take a big hit, because I don't have a really good electric pump. Thankfully, a dear friend lent me her Medela Swing until I can get one for myself. I really like it! It's small, and powerful. As soon as I can afford it, I'm going to get my own.

We've been having issues with donor milk again. Sigh. We have plenty of donor milk, but she just doesn't like it. I don't know why. Where she'd normally be taking about 3 oz. of formula via the SNS, she will only take 1 oz. of donor milk. This scares me. She really doesn't take in any other liquids, other than what she gets from my breasts or the SNS. So, I've been alternating donor milk and formula. It gives me peace of mind. Also, I've read most donor milk contains mostly foremilk, because the sticky fat globules of milk are harder to get out, and come at the end of the feeding (hindmilk) and it's not so easy to get it out with a pump. In my own experience, I can pump until no more milk comes out, and hand express quite a bit more milk (for me!) afterward.

On the hormonal front, things are a bit wacky. I'm fairly sure I ovulated a few days ago (I've always had ovulation pains.) but I've also been spotting on and off ever since. I have no idea what's going on with that. I guess we will see.

I had a rough day. On top of the hormonal upheaval, I pumped nearly an ounce, and spill half of it whilst hand expressing the last couple of drops. Then, when I put what was left in the SNS, the SNS leaked all over me. And then I threw the SNS across the room (twice) and stomped on it, which broke it. Luckily, I have a spare SNS. See previous post.

I really don't know if I'm going to continue to use the SNS after she reaches a year. I just don't know. I'm not saying I want to wean when she turns 1, but I don't know if I'll keep using the SNS. I'll have to play it by ear.




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