11 days ago, we hit a year and a half of breastfeeding. A year and a half of struggles, triumphs, anguish, anger, despair, elation, love, and accomplishments. And healing.
There was a time, in the last year and a half, that I thought about having another baby. About doing whatever I could try, between weaning and becoming pregnant again, to build more breast tissue. About becoming a guinea pig; taking hormones, taking herbal supplements, in an effort to make my glandular tissue "sufficient."
But now, I am at a point where I think I am done making babies and struggling to breastfeed them. I had one amazing, life-transforming natural birth. I have one amazing, awesome, soul-healing nursing relationship with a baby who loves nursing, and hated bottles.
I know many moms out there, struggling with low milk supply, but desperate for a nursing relationship, are fighting a losing battle with the bottle, a baby who won't latch, a baby who hates the SNS.
She obviously doesn't hate the SNS. |
And I know I am lucky. I don't take it for granted how lucky I am. I didn't work any harder, do anything better than those moms who are grieving their lost nursing relationship. I just got lucky.
And I know I might not get that lucky again.
So I'll quit while I'm ahead. I'll nurse my little girl until she decides it's time to move on, and then... we'll move on.
Update:
Or not. Looks like I may have tandem SNSing in my future...
Coming this Fall! |
I want to commend you for not giving up. What you have done may seem totally natural to us breastfeeding mommies, but a lot of people wouldn't have worked as hard as you did to have a breastfeeding relatonship. Thank you for breastfeeding. Thank you for showing people it's ok to have a breastfeeding relationship that isn't 'perfect'. You are an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteLove this!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this post and for your brave, thoughtful blog. I am happy and honored to meet you through your story. You and your daughter are so lucky to know each other through nursing.
I'll be reading backwards to catch up...
Congratulations! Breastfeeding and sns has so many benefits for mama and baby. You're a very strong mama.
ReplyDeleteUnrelated, my 16 month nursling has the same dress in the last photo. Love it!
Thank you for sharing, mama! Congrats on the mile stone, and fantastic pictures. She is so sweet!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being such an inspiration. x
ReplyDelete