"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." -Winston Churchill

Friday, December 28, 2012

Eight years ago today, my journey with breastfeeding began. Little did I know what an adventure it was going to be! Although I only breastfed my son for a few weeks before losing myself in despair over my milk supply, that experience only made me more determined to try harder the next time. When my second child was born (4 years ago on the 22nd!), I knew so much more about breastfeeding, but only made it 8 months before I'd had enough of choking down galactogogues and topping up every nursing session with a bottle. But, again, I was only more determined to make breastfeeding work with my next child. And this time, I was lucky enough to have a baby who was just as determined as I was.

Shortly after my last post (November 5th), I realized our nursing relationship was changing. At first, I was irritated that Lola seemed to want to nurse so often again, after a few months of more "freedom." Lola suddenly made a huge leap in developement, verbally and physically. She was nursing more frequently because she was really becoming more independent, but needed to come back to "home base" to check in.

Another interesting turn of events: Lola really made the switch: nursing less for food, and nursing more for pleasure/comfort. It was an amazing feeling when I realized that. And now that she's older, she can communicate what she really wants.

She asks for "Mulk," and I'll nurse her. If she's just nursing for comfort, she'll nurse for a few minutes, and then run off to play again. If she's nursing because she's hungry or thirsty, she'll nurse for a longer amount of time, and if she doesn't seem satisfied after a few minutes, I'll ask if she wants more milk, and if she says she does, I'll fill and hook up the SNS.

Sometimes, she'll nurse with the SNS and after an ounce or two, she'll unlatch and ask me to remove the tape and tube. And sometimes, she'll drain the SNS and ask for "Moon!" ("More.")

But I really love when she leads me to the couch, tells me to sit, climbs into my lap, pulls down my shirt, latches herself on, switches breasts a few times, pulls my shirt back up, climbs down and says, "Bye!"

This is everything I wanted in a nursing relationship. I'm so glad I stuck it out.

Who am I kidding? Lola would never have let me throw in the towel!


  1. You are such an inspiration to so many mothers! Thank you for sharing your story!

  2. I am a 55 year old nursing mom and thanks to several factors, a fellow user of an SNS. After 7 months of feeling all alone with this, in a round about way through a comment on Amazon, I found the FB group and then this blog...needless to say, this post brought me to tears. Been using a Lact-Aid , a definite love-hate relationship but no one really to vent with other than my very supportive husband. Thanks for your blog, looking forward to reading more!! I so agree that it is not just about the milk and it was wonderful to get a little glimpse at what to expect in the next months as my daughter gets a little older.