Lola started smiling yesterday. Not just sleep smiles, real smiles. Directed at me. And that makes all the struggle, all the heartache, worth it. And it tells me that we're going to be just fine.
She's such a great nurser from 9 pm to 6 am. She doesn't get frustrated after a few minutes, she doesn't cry for a bottle; she latches right on, she drinks deeply and peacefully.
I hope she keeps up the night nursing for a long time. It's so easy and sweet. She sleeps right next to me, and at her slightest stirring, I can get her latched on without either of us fully waking.
I can accept my lot. So, I'll never have a full milk supply. I've been so happy lately, despite that. I have a beautiful family. My children are healthy, happy and intelligent, no matter how much (or how little) breast milk they received.
But accepting that I'll always have a low supply doesn't mean I won't keep looking for things that might help. It doesn't mean I won't keep trying. I will keep nursing as long as she will have me. And, if she won't have me, I'll pump as long as I can. Because she deserves the best I can do.