"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." -Winston Churchill

Friday, April 22, 2011

Acceptance.

Lola started smiling yesterday. Not just sleep smiles, real smiles. Directed at me. And that makes all the struggle, all the heartache, worth it. And it tells me that we're going to be just fine.
She's such a great nurser from 9 pm to 6 am. She doesn't get frustrated after a few minutes, she doesn't cry for a bottle; she latches right on, she drinks deeply and peacefully.
I hope she keeps up the night nursing for a long time. It's so easy and sweet. She sleeps right next to me, and at her slightest stirring, I can get her latched on without either of us fully waking.
I can accept my lot. So, I'll never have a full milk supply. I've been so happy lately, despite that. I have a beautiful family. My children are healthy, happy and intelligent, no matter how much (or how little) breast milk they received.
But accepting that I'll always have a low supply doesn't mean I won't keep looking for things that might help. It doesn't mean I won't keep trying. I will keep nursing as long as she will have me. And, if she won't have me, I'll pump as long as I can. Because she deserves the best I can do.

4 comments:

  1. Why do you believe you will always have a low milk supply? I think it would serve you much better to say "I have all the milk my babies will ever need".

    I have seen the power of the mind work miracles. Try this for just one day - throughout the day (especially before nursing & especially if you catch yourself thinking that you have a low supply) saw out loud "I have all the milk my baby will ever need". Take a deep breath and imagine what it would feel like physically and emotionally to have plenty.

    Just try it. See if it helps. <3

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  2. I say I'll always have a low supply because it's most likely that I will.
    Sometimes, moms with this condition do go on to develop more glandular tissue in subsequent pregnancies, but it doesn't look like it happened to me. I had high hopes that I would, but, unless this domperidone grants me a 16 oz + increase in the next 2 weeks, it's likely I'll always have to supplement.

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  3. But, I'm looking to get some donor milk! I've found such a wonderful, caring community of moms through my birth center.

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  4. That's awesome! Put a call out - you'd be surprised how many mamas are willing to share. <3

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