"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." -Winston Churchill

Friday, May 20, 2011

I cried today.

I nursed my beautiful little girl and cried. Cried because I ran out of herbs and I'm afraid I'm going to set all our progress back if I don't find some. Cried because I feel like such a failure sometimes. Cried because it's so damn unfair that women with fully functional breasts can decide not to breastfeed or give up because it hurts too much, it's too much of a hassle, because it's inconvenient for them, and I struggle every damn day and I can't even say my baby gets *mostly* breast milk.
Maybe I'm just tired because she was up all night nursing. I guess I should consider it a success because she didn't need a bottle after bed time, still, but I just feel tired. Sick and tired. Tired of struggling. Tired of explaining that there's something wrong with me, and that's why I need to supplement. It's not for lack of knowledge or support, it's just lack of glandular tissue.
I know I am lucky to have such great support all around me. (Thank you)
Okay, vent over.


  1. <3
    There will be more days like this.
    Just push through it and remember to keep doing what you are doing!!!!!!!

    You are awesome and go get some herbs, darling.

  2. I am so sorry. Some days are just plain hard!!! Just make it through today and hopefully tomorrow will be better!! You are doing great!!!

  3. I had the same day :-( Some days he is fussy and of course I think "he's hungry" and I jump to supplementing him right away. Sometimes I'm glad when he's sleeping during the day because then I know he's contented. Hang in there...

  4. So glad to have found your blog. I feel the exact same way and my daughter is 18 days old. Thanks for sharing your journey!