Here I am, age 4 or 5, nursing a toy skunk. I wasn't big on baby dolls.
I take lots of nursing pictures. Just about every day, in fact. Why? I want to cherish every moment of this nursing relationship, because I know how suddenly it could end if she ever decided she'd rather get her meals from a bottle.
For now, she loves nursing. Even prefers it. And I'm so glad she does. When she's tired, or bored, or overstimulated, a quick comfort nurse calms her right down.
In the middle of the night, all she needs to do is stir a little, and then we both drift back to dreamland while she nurses away.
I love nursing. Even though I have to supplement. Even though it's been more difficult that it needs to be. Even though I'll never have that "exclusive breastfeeder" badge to wear.
It's okay. Maybe I'll be stronger for it, and I know she'll be stronger for whatever amount of breast milk she's getting.
I'm going to stop stressing the amount I'm making, and just live with it. I'll still take the herbs, I'll still take the medication, but I'm just going to let go and live, and enjoy my baby and my family. Because a happy, relaxed mommy is better than a stressed-out, high-strung mommy.
This is not giving up.
This was music to my ears <3 AND I love all these pictures. I think you just inspired me to take nursing pics of Tessa because of how old she is now... I only have a few from when she was really small... none from now. AND she is my LAST baby so this will be my LAST experience... :o(
ReplyDeleteOh, so beautiful pictures! I wish I had taken many pictures of my nursing journey with my son! :(
ReplyDeleteAnd a cheers to you for finding peace on mix-feeding. I am so much like you, because I had to supplement my son because I have always feared and perceived my supply to be insufficient. It is likewise my frustration that I have never worn the "exclusive breastfeeder" badge. I still supplement sometimes, but on most days my nearly one-year-old is already exclusively breastfed. I have successfully eliminated - albeit very slowly - the formula. And like you, I still haven't stopped taking herbal supplements to boost my milk supply. One day soon, YOU too will find yourself exclusively feeding Lola. :) God bless!