As someone who has battled postpartum depression before, I fear that I can feel it creeping in again.
I don't know if I'm just tired, or what, but today, I feel like giving up the fight. What's the point? It's twice as hard as just bottle-feeding, it takes even longer to get out of the house because first I have to breast feed her, then I have to wait to bottle feed her because she's just full enough not to have to eat right away, and she doesn't like lukewarm formula, which is what she's stuck with if we're out.
Why can't it just be easy?
I've also been feeling a disconnect. Feeling extremely bored. Feeling like I need to get away from the baby. I just want to escape!
Maybe I just need a break. Need to go somewhere, bring my pump and just be escaped for a little while.
But, I know that can't happen right now. We have too much going on, getting ready to move from our cramped apartment to a new house.
I wish I didn't feel this down, it makes it really hard to find the strength to put forth the effort.